Slant Staff

The Lorax this, the Lorax that. When are we going to talk about Dr. Seus’s greatest, hottest, most beastiality-inducing creation: The Cat In The Hat, a 2003 film and cinematic masterpiece? I’m tired of hearing about how “everybody needs a thneed” — who’s “everybody”? I reject this capitalistic agenda. I...

  • October 25, 2023

By Jeff Malarky I paid $566,996 to Uncle Sam last year in federal income taxes. I threw in another $95,968 to the dear old governor of New Jersey, $47,438 to my accountant based in Grand Cayman, and $10,000 to my favorite charity, RIM (Raise Income Minimums, which seeks to prevent...

  • September 18, 2023

By Slant Staff  Look, tornadoes are no joke and neither is this protocol. We all know the warning signs for a tornado (I actually did not and had to google them), but if you hear a noise that sounds like a freight train over the sound of your sex playlist,...

  • March 22, 2023