By ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ and ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ 🍯 We all know Sigmund Freud was a freak, but he did draw attention to one undeniable fact: how cool moms are. Anytime I want to hype up moms, whether it be my mom or someone else’s, I get accused of having mommy issues. Someone gets...
By Slant Staff I’m not Catholic, but I’ll try anything once. I like to call it the broccoli hypothesis. I think I read it on some fucked up reddit thread somewhere. It says that one should always try something to have an opinion on it. In the same way that...
By Bonnie Bu Some people just spawn fresh out of summer. Tousled OBX-lookin-ass-hair and tanned, jaundice-free skin are their entire look. Maybe they’re even wearing $70 Rainbow flip flops; we all love a little exposed toe! The first day of classes is a great time to shoot your submissive shot...
The Vanderbilt Biological Sciences Department recently announced that one of their students, junior Gimli Turner, has cured cancer. Doctors around the world are applauding Turner’s tireless efforts toward curing this enigmatic, tenacious disease—a true medical miracle. His roommate, Dory Wimmer Jr., says the idea simply happened upon Turner one night...
By Fluke Baller Sad processions of CHEM 1601 students have been a common sight at Vanderbilt for years. But in recent weeks they’ve been seen around campus with a spring in their step, life in their eyes and anal beads up their ass. Spurred by the “worst fucking midterm I’ve...
