By Sam Belcher Much like Christmas, gender reveal parties and the state of Florida, 9/11 is the latest victim of rampant consumerism. As such, the federal government has embarked on an ambitious plan to roll out a new line of T-shirts, assault rifles and collectors coins in order to commemorate...
By Benedict Ballman NEW YORK, New York (The Slant): With college internships set to begin at the turn of the month, WASPS-in-training are eagerly packing their bags and counting down the days. “Empire City” by Jay-Z has reached a record high number of streams on Spotify this past week as...
By Troy Janhores February marked a big win for Vanderbilt’s graduate students, with Chancellor Daniel Diermeier finally congratulating them on the stipend increases they had been fighting for. As a sign of goodwill, the Chancellor has now offered them an “art project” which he had “been working on for some...
By Thomas Robertson NASHVILLE, TN — Last Tuesday, Blackstone CEO Nevil von Doofenshmirtz closed a deal that bought the home of a single mother of seven children. The family was left to live on the street, which Doofenshmirtz sees as a “powerful exercise” that will “strengthen” the seven children as...
By Ruhi Patel From Star Wars to Mamma Mia to my childhood in North Texas, the trope of the mysteriously unknown father has always been a hoot. But now, it has expanded to marine life: Charlotte, a stingray in North Carolina, is pregnant, and we don’t know how. Like, don’t...
