By Thomas Robertson NASHVILLE, TN — Last Tuesday, Blackstone CEO Nevil von Doofenshmirtz closed a deal that bought the home of a single mother of seven children. The family was left to live on the street, which Doofenshmirtz sees as a “powerful exercise” that will “strengthen” the seven children as...
By Ruhi Patel From Star Wars to Mamma Mia to my childhood in North Texas, the trope of the mysteriously unknown father has always been a hoot. But now, it has expanded to marine life: Charlotte, a stingray in North Carolina, is pregnant, and we don’t know how. Like, don’t...
By Sam Sliman Peke Abu, recipient of the world’s first brain/computer interface, woke up this morning to find his entire body completely gone. After a brief panic, Abu was able to recover his corporeal form by looking down and quickly observing it, but sadly, his wallet, car, and all other...
By Megan McGrath and Justice Nathaniel Thomas The Supreme Court has finally issued an opinion in the case Harrington v. Purdue Pharma. The verdict orders the Sackler family, former owners of Purdue Pharma — the company responsible for manufacturing and distributing the drug OxyContin — to pay $6 billion to...
By Ruhi Patel The other day I was just gallivanting around Toys “R” Us looking for a life-sized Peppa Pig inflatable (shopping for a friend, I swear), and I saw an advertisement for the coolest, hottest new toy on the market. Imagine my surprise when I saw a plastic, 4...
