By Alex Tomack and Nathaniel Berry Eve, Isaac Newton, Steve Jobs – all pioneers of their respective lanes in the world of apples. Of these three, Steve Jobs stands undisputed as the most influential; however, his legacy may soon be tarnished, as recently the Department of Justice filed a lawsuit...
Dear Kirkland Protesters, My name is Carol Pinkett, and I am concerned about the recent “sit-ins” on Kirkland Lawn. Firstly, let me make clear, I am a liberal. My parents voted for Obama, twice. I cheated on my conservative boyfriend, Dylan, as an act of accountability. I am super down...
By Alex Tomack In addition to running campaign ads that feel 70 years late, independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been trying to demonstrate that he’s fit for the presidency in the most literal sense — by doing pushups. 9, to be exact. How is this surprisingly average amount...
By Fieve P. Ercenter NASHVILLE, TN — Happy anniversary, Czar Corradi! This month marks a full year since the establishment of the inaugural New York City rat czardom. On April 12th, 2023, New York City appointed Kathleen Corradi as its first-ever director of rodent mitigation, colloquially known as the “rat...
By Oliver Tuff It was recently announced that Democrat Tom Suozzi has won a special election to become the newest representative for New York. In my opinion, the election should never have happened in the first place (look how they persecuted our icon George Santos). Further still, there were so...
