By Zach “Attack” Folger Girls everywhere are dramatically shivering in hopes of securing a warm jacket from their talking-stage companions. Fraternity brothers, such as myself, are popping collars across the nation. Literally anyone who’s anyone is whizzing around campus with potential mates on the back of their scooters. Cuffing season...
By Megan McGrath and Hamdi Ceseer A few months ago, I received the tremendous email informing me that because I attended Vanderbilt University from 2021-present and received need-based financial aid that did not fully cover my expenses, I was entitled to a payout as a claimant in the Financial Aid...
Vanderbilt’s annual “Lights on the Lawn” event has been canceled this year after mass protests around its headliner, Gryffin. The problem students had with him? His very humanity, the mortal coil that he will only shed on his last day. For months, tickets to the event have been selling like...
From: Donald J. Trump Subject: I want to do something extra special on January 6th this year… Date: September 18, 2024 3:14 AM A MEMO FROM RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT TRUMP Patriot, FEAR NOT! After yet ANOTHER attempt on my life, I will be fighting even stronger! I AM VERY PROUD TO...
By Ruhi Slatel Cleopatra’s tomb was finally found in the Branscomb Quadrangle basement after being missing for nearly two millennia. In classic Branscomb fashion, the entire tomb was hidden away behind a comically large stack of empty Twisted Tea cans, all held together by the hard work of a very...