Ways I’ve Got That Dog in Me


By M-Dawg

  1. I bark often.
  2. I have a giant tail.
  3. I’m always digging.
  4. I piss on things to mark my territory.
  5. I wear a shock collar.
  6. Rabies.
  7. I really fucking love peanut butter.
  8. I cry when someone clips my nails.
  9. I catch balls in my mouth.
  10. I have to wear an anxiety vest for thunder.
  11. Neutered at two.
  12. I’m not allowed on the bed.
  13. I beg for food (I’m not on the meal plan).
  14. I don’t see color.
  15. I don’t understand daylight savings.
  16. I bit a kid.
  17. I get put in a cage when I’m bad.
  18. I can’t stand the mailman.
  19. The doctors have to hold me down for shots.
  20. I wrap my antidepressant in cheese so I don’t know it’s there.
  21. I say “hello” by putting my face in some ass.
  22. Strangers often stroke my hair.
  23. My whole ass starts shaking when you call me “good girl.”
  24. I come on command.
  25. I broke my leg and they put me down.
  • November 29, 2023