The Slant has obtained a series of unreleased tweets by President Trump regarding Time magazine’s Person of the Year.
For those of you concerned about treason who wish to play along at home, please refer to Google Translate to decode the above sinister plot.
NASHVILLE, TN — Vanderbilt University’s Central Library is not currently infested with bedbugs. Students are not encouraged to use caution when not studying for the remainder of the semester, especially when not using the library’s couches and other upholstered surfaces.
E. Bronson Ingram College Construction Site — Over the past few weeks, several reports have been coming in that sophomore Brent McCluskey has been seen already hanging out in the E. Bronson Ingram common room.
Upon his return to his former high school in Tampa, Florida, Vanderbilt first-year Stephen Williams was met with worship, awe, and reverence. Current high school seniors lined up before the now-deity for several miles, each prepared with a bouquet of roses and at least fifteen questions about how to get into Vanderbilt and what college is like.
