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Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper – Est. 1886

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    Uncategorized

    Daniel Day-Lewis Predicted to Win Emmy for Performance as Presidential Candidate Donald Trump

    Many began to suspect Donald Trump was not a real person but instead a character created by the famously elaborate Day-Lewis as early as the first GOP debate in the summer of 2015. 

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    • November 8, 2016
    Top 10

    Top 10 Things to Do if Trump is Elected

    Step 1: Download a high profile dating app for Secret Service agents.

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    • November 8, 2016
    Uncategorized

    Missed Connections

    Could we be more than just drunk strangers passing in the night?

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    • November 7, 2016
    Uncategorized

    Trump Crusades for Puppet Rights as Nation’s First Puppet Presidential Candidate

    The defensiveness of Trump’s comments in particular was not fully explicated until a recent TV interview, in which long translucent strings attached to Trump’s arms and lips became visible in the light of the studio. 

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    • November 7, 2016
    Op-Ed

    You Rat Bastards Will Never Get Your Filthy Mitts on My Precious Raffi CDs

    You rat bastards are the most revolting mockeries of the beauty of life I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon. And I know exactly what you want.

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    • November 4, 2016
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