The low hum of a scooter engine gets louder and louder, a sound that almost outweighs the sound of your heart beating in your ears. A bead of sweat inches down your neck and your hands start to shake. You slowly turn your head, preparing yourself for a sight you’ve...
By John Dough Junior whom I met at the tailgateI thought thy bore resemblance to an angelic being Standing benevolently in an ocean of inebriated socialites And sorority girls who claim they never had a “hoe phase” in high school Thine infinite, empyrean beautyDoth truly make me feel flustered, enamored, and...
Another aimless day of classes has come to a merciful close. You pack your backpack, pop in your AirPods, turn on some of the angelic stylings of Vanderbilt’s own Ben Kessler, and begin the 10 minute trek back to your dorm. These small 10 minute walks are a welcome relief....
The Swiss Army Knife. The iPhone. The foreskin. What do these things have in common? Well, certainly not mode of production (one is handcrafted, another Asian-sweatshop-crafted, and one in God’s image). They also differ in terms of smell, aesthetic quality, and prevalence in the Jewish community. I see you’re confused,...
Use your Commodore Card to treat your significant other to any of the fine restaurants available to you via Taste of Nashville. Nama is expensive, don’t use REAL money! Picket outside of Zeppos’s office for fairer dining worker wages. Seize the heart of your sweetheart by seizing the means of...
