Nine Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

  1. Use your Commodore Card to treat your significant other to any of the fine restaurants available to you via Taste of Nashville. Nama is expensive, don’t use REAL money!
  2. Picket outside of Zeppos’s office for fairer dining worker wages. Seize the heart of your sweetheart by seizing the means of production.
  3. Make some ASMR videos together. The best ASMRs depict fantasies that you can never have in real life (for example, a healthy relationship with your father).
  4. Develop simultaneous nicotine addictions. By the end of this, you’ll need each other as much as you need to constantly juul.
  5. Have a heated political debate over the veracity of evidence supporting climate change. It always stinks when you date someone for months, only to find out that his or her favorite channel is InfoWars. Jump right into a dangerous conversation that brings out the worst in both of you–this way, you’ll immediately know if you should dump your date!
  6. Make out in hopes of passing mono. Ensure your honey won’t be kissing anyone else for at least 2 months.
  7. Lime straight into a brick wall for the adrenaline. This is a two for one: not only is the adrenaline an aphrodisiac but you’ll get to add ER fees onto your mounting student debt together!
  8. Compete to see who can be louder: you, your lover and your bed posts vs. the construction. Make sure everyone knows that you’re having a better time than them.
  9. Scream into the void. What better way to bond than to release your inner demons together?

  • February 13, 2019