By Tucker Ballantyne Students who read The Hustler Bad community Students who read The Slant Worse community, but at least willing to pass the juul when needed HOD majors that won’t work for Deloitte Warning: Very selective, full of daddy-issues Vanderbilt Office of Housing and Residential Experience1.9 stars of Google The Free Masons 🝰🜋🜒🜹🜸🝝 Morning […]
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Recent Posts
How to go to a Frat in a God Honoring Way
By Alycia Shipley It’s a Friday night, and your friends want to go to a real party. Apparently to them, a BYX party is not a real party. Tired of only being offered La Croixs and Capri Suns, they tell you that there’s a party at Delt. You belligerently agree to go because the Toga […]
The ABC’s of your Valentine’s date
By Rachel Haselkorn Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and if you are single you’re probably already painfully aware of this fact. While you may have already given up on the prospect of finding a date in time for this cursèd holiday, I am here to bring you hope. As supported by my uninterrupted nineteen-year streak […]
If God Didn’t Want Me To Use Plastic, Then Why Did He Invent It?
By Jana Li For the record, I love the environment. In fact, I love the environment so much that I can’t stop dreaming about making sweet, sweet love to Mother Nature and creating a monsoon in her leafy lady bits. Until then, I’m just jizzing on Alumni Lawn, hoping she gets the message. However, what […]
LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut (You Won’t BELIEVE #4!)
By Taylor Lomax Every year, the Commons House Presidents hold a secretive gathering where they deliberate on themes for the yearly Commons Ball. (This year, the theme is First Contact because why not aliens.) As the most anticipated event of the year, Commons Ball preparation meetings tend to be top-secret. But this year, one of […]
Report: Woman to Clean Up After Man’s Mess
By Ben Donohoe NASHVILLE, TN: Sources close to the Vanderbilt University administration confirmed today that a woman would indeed be asked to clean up a man’s mess. “Given our concerns with how things were running, we thought it best to have a woman fulfill the traditional role of straightening out the clutter left behind by […]
Socially Liberal, Fiscally Conservative Announced as IFC’s Official Slogan
By Chris Loveland Greek life on Vanderbilt has recently seen a lot of upheaval. In the past few years, without fail, the coolest and most “do you know who my father is” fraternities have found themselves sent packing (only to then combine and become stronger than any mere mortal could have ever imagined—legend is that […]
Features
Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face
It was 2011; a simpler time in society. Back then, we didn’t know that punching students in the face was wrong. We just did it and didn’t think twice. Well, that all changed on the night of February 24th, when Mr. Commodore whacked this kid right in the fucking nose. Take a look. So a […]
9 Things We Found in the Stevenson Steam Tunnels
In 2005, Vanderbilt Magazine published an article detailing the steam tunnels that run throughout campus, especially underneath Stevenson. While their article was informative, it was also boring as hell. So, we here at The Slant decided to reinvestigate, roughly 15 years later, to see what we would find. Did we break some rules? Yes. Did […]
Alumni Shadows: A Day in the Life of a Vanderbilt Philosophy Alum
Last week in our featured Alumni series, we caught up with a former Vanderbilt finance student who now works as a Wall Street broker, Julian van der Money. This week, we follow Chad Bradwick, a recent philosophy graduate, through a day in his exciting post-grad life. Chad now lives roughly twenty minutes from downtown Chicago. […]
Featured Org of the Week: WOKE VU
WOKE VU (White Organization that Knows Everything @ Vanderbilt University) Do you care about recent political issues, such as BLM, LGBTQ discrimination, mass incarceration, and violence against women? Are you just a white, cisgender man who’s looking for a place to engage in enlightening conversation? Specifically, are you a brother of ZBT, DTD, or a […]
Vanderbilt’s Top 9 World Records
With top-ranked financial aid, and America’s Slap-Happiest Students™, Vanderbilt is no slouch when it comes to record-breaking. Here are some of the most impressive records held by our university and its students: Longest Continuous Cry in Front of Esteemed Research Professor 2 hours and 13 minutes, just long enough to take up all of Stephen […]
Valentines Around the Loop
For this latest edition of Around the Loop, the Slant Staff interviewed folks about their V-day plans. Sam, 18, virgin — HAHA we’re just fucking with you. We’d never ask a virgin what they’re doing on Valentine’s Day. That’s so sad. We care about our readers, and wouldn’t dream of subjecting you to that. Lisa, […]