By Chris Loveland Ever since I was little I’ve cared about two things. The first: my loving parents. The second: that rat-fuck who goes by the name Chuck E. Cheese. I remember the moment my life changed forever. I was seven, it was my birthday, and I was spending it at Charles’ humble abode. Everything […]
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The Slant’s Guide to the VSG Election (The One You Actually Want to Read)
After watching the trash presidential debate hosted by The #fakenews Hustler, The Slant decided out of concern for the Vanderbilt community to ask the hard hitting questions that students want to know. Below you’ll find a full portrait of candidates you didn’t even know existed until they requested to follow you on Instagram. Base your […]
If You Order Another Caprese, I Swear I’m Going to Lose My Shit
By Anonymous Dear valued Greens* customer, Having noted your regular presence at our cafe, we write to you to address some behaviors we find concerning. On Monday, January 22nd, you entered our establishment at 8:56 pm. Although both our front and kitchen staff were clearly in the process of trying to leave so they could […]
OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity
By Kyle Kowalski The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus,” according to the benevolent ruler […]
Top Ten Secret Campus Clubs
By Tucker Ballantyne Students who read The Hustler Bad community Students who read The Slant Worse community, but at least willing to pass the juul when needed HOD majors that won’t work for Deloitte Warning: Very selective, full of daddy-issues Vanderbilt Office of Housing and Residential Experience1.9 stars of Google The Free Masons 🝰🜋🜒🜹🜸🝝 Morning […]
How to go to a Frat in a God Honoring Way
By Alycia Shipley It’s a Friday night, and your friends want to go to a real party. Apparently to them, a BYX party is not a real party. Tired of only being offered La Croixs and Capri Suns, they tell you that there’s a party at Delt. You belligerently agree to go because the Toga […]
The ABC’s of your Valentine’s date
By Rachel Haselkorn Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and if you are single you’re probably already painfully aware of this fact. While you may have already given up on the prospect of finding a date in time for this cursèd holiday, I am here to bring you hope. As supported by my uninterrupted nineteen-year streak […]
Features
OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity
By Kyle Kowalski The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus,” according to the benevolent ruler […]
LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut (You Won’t BELIEVE #4!)
By Taylor Lomax Every year, the Commons House Presidents hold a secretive gathering where they deliberate on themes for the yearly Commons Ball. (This year, the theme is First Contact because why not aliens.) As the most anticipated event of the year, Commons Ball preparation meetings tend to be top-secret. But this year, one of […]
Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face
It was 2011; a simpler time in society. Back then, we didn’t know that punching students in the face was wrong. We just did it and didn’t think twice. Well, that all changed on the night of February 24th, when Mr. Commodore whacked this kid right in the fucking nose. Take a look. So a […]
9 Things We Found in the Stevenson Steam Tunnels
In 2005, Vanderbilt Magazine published an article detailing the steam tunnels that run throughout campus, especially underneath Stevenson. While their article was informative, it was also boring as hell. So, we here at The Slant decided to reinvestigate, roughly 15 years later, to see what we would find. Did we break some rules? Yes. Did […]
Alumni Shadows: A Day in the Life of a Vanderbilt Philosophy Alum
Last week in our featured Alumni series, we caught up with a former Vanderbilt finance student who now works as a Wall Street broker, Julian van der Money. This week, we follow Chad Bradwick, a recent philosophy graduate, through a day in his exciting post-grad life. Chad now lives roughly twenty minutes from downtown Chicago. […]
Featured Org of the Week: WOKE VU
WOKE VU (White Organization that Knows Everything @ Vanderbilt University) Do you care about recent political issues, such as BLM, LGBTQ discrimination, mass incarceration, and violence against women? Are you just a white, cisgender man who’s looking for a place to engage in enlightening conversation? Specifically, are you a brother of ZBT, DTD, or a […]