Every year, the career fair comes around, and every year, a sizable portion of students wear goddamn suits—suits!—making the rest of look bad just for wearing normal clothes: Cookie Monster snapbacks, Reagan-Bush ‘84 t-shirts, wheatgrass Birkenstocks, what have you. Nobody’s gonna say it? Really? Fine, I will: it won’t make a difference whether or not […]
Main Content
Recent Posts
A Guide to Dropping Classes
As the semester begins, and add/drop quickly comes to an end, you may be wondering, “How can I do the least amount of work and still find time to cheat effectively this semester?” Well, you are in luck. Although school can suck a lot, the right classes (or lack thereof) can make college a great […]
Life Hacking Your Foreskin: 7 Hidden Features
The Swiss Army Knife. The iPhone. The foreskin. What do these things have in common? Well, certainly not mode of production (one is handcrafted, another Asian-sweatshop-crafted, and one in God’s image). They also differ in terms of smell, aesthetic quality, and prevalence in the Jewish community. I see you’re confused, so I’ll throw you a […]
Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face
It was 2011; a simpler time in society. Back then, we didn’t know that punching students in the face was wrong. We just did it and didn’t think twice. Well, that all changed on the night of February 24th, when Mr. Commodore whacked this kid right in the fucking nose. Take a look. So a […]
9 Things We Found in the Stevenson Steam Tunnels
In 2005, Vanderbilt Magazine published an article detailing the steam tunnels that run throughout campus, especially underneath Stevenson. While their article was informative, it was also boring as hell. So, we here at The Slant decided to reinvestigate, roughly 15 years later, to see what we would find. Did we break some rules? Yes. Did […]
Assessing the 2020 Presidential Candidates
Kamala Harris She’s a woman, Jamaican, and Indian, ‘nuff said. If you read that as a good thing, congratulations, you’re woke, but also, Dems may need to reign in identity politics if we want to win elections. She’s a cop. But not a fun one, like Ice-T in SVU. She’s more like the judge who, […]
Frats as Countries
Delt – Canada. They’re just too nice ZBT – Israel. Obviously because of the Jews Sig Nu – America. It’s got such a big military presence AEPi – Palestine. Some people say it exists; some people say it doesn’t FIJI – Cuba. It sounds fun, but ending up there kind of sucks Pike – Scotland. […]
Features
9 Things We Found in the Stevenson Steam Tunnels
In 2005, Vanderbilt Magazine published an article detailing the steam tunnels that run throughout campus, especially underneath Stevenson. While their article was informative, it was also boring as hell. So, we here at The Slant decided to reinvestigate, roughly 15 years later, to see what we would find. Did we break some rules? Yes. Did […]
Alumni Shadows: A Day in the Life of a Vanderbilt Philosophy Alum
Last week in our featured Alumni series, we caught up with a former Vanderbilt finance student who now works as a Wall Street broker, Julian van der Money. This week, we follow Chad Bradwick, a recent philosophy graduate, through a day in his exciting post-grad life. Chad now lives roughly twenty minutes from downtown Chicago. […]
Featured Org of the Week: WOKE VU
WOKE VU (White Organization that Knows Everything @ Vanderbilt University) Do you care about recent political issues, such as BLM, LGBTQ discrimination, mass incarceration, and violence against women? Are you just a white, cisgender man who’s looking for a place to engage in enlightening conversation? Specifically, are you a brother of ZBT, DTD, or a […]
Vanderbilt’s Top 9 World Records
With top-ranked financial aid, and America’s Slap-Happiest Students™, Vanderbilt is no slouch when it comes to record-breaking. Here are some of the most impressive records held by our university and its students: Longest Continuous Cry in Front of Esteemed Research Professor 2 hours and 13 minutes, just long enough to take up all of Stephen […]
Valentines Around the Loop
For this latest edition of Around the Loop, the Slant Staff interviewed folks about their V-day plans. Sam, 18, virgin — HAHA we’re just fucking with you. We’d never ask a virgin what they’re doing on Valentine’s Day. That’s so sad. We care about our readers, and wouldn’t dream of subjecting you to that. Lisa, […]
Nine Valentine’s Day Date Ideas
Use your Commodore Card to treat your significant other to any of the fine restaurants available to you via Taste of Nashville. Nama is expensive, don’t use REAL money! Picket outside of Zeppos’s office for fairer dining worker wages. Seize the heart of your sweetheart by seizing the means of production. Make some ASMR videos […]