Hey you! Yeah, the guy that likes to stand in the corner at parties and scroll through his weather app in an effort to avoid conversation. The guy who lies in bed thinking about that one time in 7th grade at a party when everyone was doing funny celebrity impressions and he tried to do […]
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Diermeier Dormitories to Replace Branscomb Quad in Fall 2022
Vanderbilt Chancellor Daniel Diermeier recently announced his plans to tear down Branscomb Quadrangle, an upper-level residence hall that notably houses Ethan Wacker, pledges who failed to get a bid freshman year and transfer students who simply don’t know any better. The Diermeier Dormitories will be built in its place. When I spoke to Diermeier about […]
Separating the Art from the Artist: Why It’s Ok to Keep Hooking Up with That Guy Who Is an Asshole to You
By: Slant Staff Don’t lie to me. You still listen to Michael Jackson and XXXTentacion. You still appreciate Picasso. You keep rewatching Pulp Fiction every time you get sad and just want to feel something again (you realize Harvey Weinstein directed that, right?). I’m just being honest about it. Great philosophers throughout the ages have […]
Concerned Mother Shames “Euphoria” for Setting Unrealistic Standards for Young, Impressionable Minds
By: Justine Del Monte Hit show Euphoria’s second season has left parents and activists alike in shock over its inaccurate and harmful portrayal of adolescence. The series focuses on antagonist Rue (Zendaya), a teenage drug user who is fresh out of rehab and ready to take on the world as a recovering addict. With the […]
Why You Didn’t Need a Res College Single Anyway
By: Slant Staff So, just like me, you applied to the singles housing process. If you were part of the sliver of lucky bastards who got a res college single, don’t let it get to your head. Diermeier still isn’t going to invite you to his circle jerks, champ. If you didn’t get a res […]
Hooking Up For Housing: Why I Won’t Be Sleeping With Anyone Who Doesn’t Live In A Res College
By: Slant Staff Vanderbilt has no housing. Rather than solving the problem in a rational matter, like say allowing us to live off-campus, OHARE has asked students to beg for housing (or simply bribe their way into a six-person suite). I, however, am a woman of principle. I refuse to get on my knees for […]
92 Reasons to Avoid the Over-Sequined, Yuppy-Fueled Coachella Fever Dream
By: Kyle Kowalski I don’t have high expectations for the month of April. It means final exams, confusing weather, and waiting yet another month for my parents to finally let me play in the backyard and drink from the watering hose. Do they expect me to live on my own to pay LA rent just […]
Campus
Why You Didn’t Need a Res College Single Anyway
By: Slant Staff So, just like me, you applied to the singles housing process. If you were part of the sliver of lucky bastards who got a res college single, don’t let it get to your head. Diermeier still isn’t going to invite you to his circle jerks, champ. If you didn’t get a res […]
Hooking Up For Housing: Why I Won’t Be Sleeping With Anyone Who Doesn’t Live In A Res College
By: Slant Staff Vanderbilt has no housing. Rather than solving the problem in a rational matter, like say allowing us to live off-campus, OHARE has asked students to beg for housing (or simply bribe their way into a six-person suite). I, however, am a woman of principle. I refuse to get on my knees for […]
Mold This, Mold That. When Are We Going to Talk about the Poop-Stained Panties I Found in the Lupton 4 Bathroom?
By: Slant Staff Listen, I understand that the mold found in Morgan (and now Lewis) is a big deal. I get it, you get it. Even the Hustler gets it, or at least I thought they did? I could’ve sworn I saw an article about it but it’s not there anymore. I can’t say I’m […]
Increase in Popularity of Date Parties Wreaks Havoc on Vanderbilt’s Most Prejudiced Group: Incels
By: Danielle Bernstein It’s that time of year again. With all the new pledges eagerly excited to swallow live goldfish and sacrifice their first-born son to their new brothers, date parties are back and better than ever, baby. And with all the hullabaloo of who’s bringing who and who’s wearing what, an often ignored subgroup […]
Vanderbilt Fails to Pay Their Dining Staff Sufficient Wages, But It’s Okay Because There’s a Giant Sriracha Bottle in Commons
By: Danielle Bernstein Who isn’t completely overjoyed walking into Commons on a Thursday night? I know I am. The harsh fluorescent lighting, the overall dissatisfaction regarding the food… It’s Disneyland on our little college campus. Last Thursday night, there was something extra special in the Commons air. As I waited in line for something that […]
Secrets Unveiled: Diermeier in Deep with Big Olive Oil
By: Brendan Wendlandt Vanderbilt Chancellor Daniel Diermeier has been implicated in a potential conflict of interest with a Spanish oil company, Deoleo, presumably for his own financial benefit and/or pleasure. A formal complaint was written to Vanderbilt’s Office of Investigation Logistics (OIL), requesting a full investigation into Diermier’s gluttonous dealings. Diermeier is accused of not […]