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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Main Content

Op-Ed: We Don’t Need More Thanksgiving Music. We Already Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Anthem

November 25, 2020 By Taylor Lomax

Year after year, the public bemoans a “lack” of music to celebrate the “Thanksgiving season,” whatever that means. Where Christmas has a wealth of music from Mariah Carey and other lesser artists, and Halloween has such seminal classics as “The Monster Mash” and China Anne McClain’s “Calling All the Monsters,” the general public doesn’t recognize […]

Recent Posts

Op Ed: Let’s Collectively Agree to Reset our Virginities Every Month

November 24, 2020 By Slant Staff

By Stella Virgin Let’s get something straight. I think it’s pretty fucking unfair that society has decided to only give us one virginity. I mean, really, one? The vast majority of the 18+ population could definitely use a set-in-stone virginity reset day to replenish our mental and emotional well-being. After all, who doesn’t want to […]

Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell

November 18, 2020 By Taylor Lomax

You’re going about your day. You’re walking through campus, admiring the gorgeous fall leaves. Maybe you take a picture and upload it to your Instagram story. It’s fall y’all! And you’re happy. Until you remember that twerpy-man-child-with-the-doctor-wife Ben Shapiro announced he’s moving to Nashville and bringing his whole Daily Wire crew with him. He’s probably […]

Canada Goose is Back: The Slant’s Guide to Handling the Swarm

November 18, 2020 By Keiji Chan

Winter is quickly approaching and Vanderbilt students are reporting an abundance of Canada geese on campus. No, not the fancy, puffy, red patch-bearing jackets, but actual geese. Should I accidentally stumble across a Canada goose strolling down West End, I would surely be less equipped for the situation than if I encountered a wealthy student […]

What To Leave In Your Dorm Room For The Flip

November 18, 2020 By Elaine Li

You may have seen Vanderbilt’s detailed, overtly threatening instructions on what to pack and what to leave for the Flip, but they forgot one thing: common courtesy. However, the Slant cares so deeply for the wellbeing of our freshman that we’re providing a list of fun & flirty gifts to leave your virtual roommate to […]

OPINION: Your Liberation Will Only Come From Steaming Hot Takes

November 10, 2020 By Slant Staff

The nation’s most salient young voices have taken to the opinion pages of our most precious institutions—online-only college newspapers—to urge us that voting will not make the difference. They are right. The only thing that can save us from the specter of oppression is pumping out as many provocative hot takes as possible from the […]

Letter From The Editor: My Presidential Endorsement

November 3, 2020 By Madison Hitchcock: Editor-in-Chief

By Madison Hitchcock, Estelle Shaya and Zak Stengel Dear Slant Readership,  In the 134 year history of our publication, no Editor-in-Chief has ever publicly endorsed a presidential nominee. The one exception was in 1964 when the Editor at the time made the unprecedented decision to back Lee Harvey Oswald as a write-in option, a move […]

Features

OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity

February 25, 2020 By Kyle Kowalski

The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus,” according to the benevolent ruler of Greek Life.  […]

LEAKED: 10 Commons Ball Themes That Didn’t Make the Cut

February 7, 2020 By Taylor Lomax

Every year, the Commons House Presidents hold a secretive gathering where they deliberate on themes for the yearly Commons Ball. (This year, the theme is First Contact because why not aliens.) As the most anticipated event of the year, Commons Ball preparation meetings tend to be top-secret. But this year, one of our sources gave […]

Throwback to the Time Mr. C Punched a Kid in the Face

May 2, 2019 By Jacob Feldstein

It was 2011; a simpler time in society. Back then, we didn’t know that punching students in the face was wrong. We just did it and didn’t think twice. Well, that all changed on the night of February 24th, when Mr. Commodore whacked this kid right in the fucking nose. Take a look. So a […]

9 Things We Found in the Stevenson Steam Tunnels

April 8, 2019 By Slant Staff

In 2005, Vanderbilt Magazine published an article detailing the steam tunnels that run throughout campus, especially underneath Stevenson. While their article was informative, it was also boring as hell. So, we here at The Slant decided to reinvestigate, roughly 15 years later, to see what we would find. Did we break some rules? Yes. Did […]

Alumni Shadows: A Day in the Life of a Vanderbilt Philosophy Alum

March 14, 2019 By Shivani Sharma

Last week in our featured Alumni series, we caught up with a former Vanderbilt finance student who now works as a Wall Street broker, Julian van der Money. This week, we follow Chad Bradwick, a recent philosophy graduate, through a day in his exciting post-grad life. Chad now lives roughly twenty minutes from downtown Chicago. […]

Featured Org of the Week: WOKE VU

March 14, 2019 By Beatrice Mhando: Editor

WOKE VU (White Organization that Knows Everything @ Vanderbilt University) Do you care about recent political issues, such as BLM, LGBTQ discrimination, mass incarceration, and violence against women? Are you just a white, cisgender man who’s looking for a place to engage in enlightening conversation? Specifically, are you a brother of ZBT, DTD, or a […]

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Recent Posts

  • Op-Ed: We Don’t Need More Thanksgiving Music. We Already Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Anthem
  • Op Ed: Let’s Collectively Agree to Reset our Virginities Every Month
  • Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell
  • Canada Goose is Back: The Slant’s Guide to Handling the Swarm
  • What To Leave In Your Dorm Room For The Flip

vanderbiltslant

No one supports feminism more than the SEC. By B No one supports feminism more than the SEC. 

By Ben Donohoe
Happy Holidays! Xoxo, Wente ❤️ @vanderbiltu Happy Holidays! Xoxo, Wente ❤️

@vanderbiltu
Trust me, it’s like, a super practical major. B Trust me, it’s like, a super practical major.

By Joshua Allen
Happy Thanksgiving from the Slant, to all of you h Happy Thanksgiving from the Slant, to all of you hiding in a bedroom in a desperate attempt to avoid your family!

By Alex Mills
Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes? Rings a bell. Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes? Rings a bell. 

By Shivani Sharma
Sometimes Vandy doesn’t give us what we want, th Sometimes Vandy doesn’t give us what we want, they give us what we need. 

By Taylor Lomax
Graphic by Sam Sliman
Honestly? We aren't NOT into it ever since that Na Honestly? We aren't NOT into it ever since that Narnia movie came out... 

By Julia Schmitt
The Slant ❤️s a good info graphic! Thanks @van The Slant ❤️s a good info graphic! Thanks @vanderbiltstudentgov

Graphic by Sam Sliman
We know you missed us, but we are back and our con We know you missed us, but we are back and our content is as average as ever! 

By Madison Hitchcock
Inspired by recent events By Ben Donohoe Inspired by recent events 

By Ben Donohoe
It’s still too close to call. By Madison Hitch It’s still too close to call. 

By Madison Hitchcock
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