By Ruhi Patel From Star Wars to Mamma Mia to my childhood in North Texas, the trope of the mysteriously unknown father has always been a hoot. But now, it has expanded to marine life: Charlotte, a stingray in North Carolina, is pregnant, and we don’t know how. Like, don’t...
By Sam Sliman Peke Abu, recipient of the world’s first brain/computer interface, woke up this morning to find his entire body completely gone. After a brief panic, Abu was able to recover his corporeal form by looking down and quickly observing it, but sadly, his wallet, car, and all other...
In a daring twist that can only be described as morbidly inventive, Vanderbilt University has completed construction on its Student Life Center, revealing the highly anticipated counterpart, Student Death Center. The decision, overwhelmingly backed by the Dishonor Council, seeks to redefine the traditional student journey by asserting that college should...
By Indy Hauter I don’t belong in this world. As a 20-year-old experiencing adulthood for the first time, I can plainly see just how messed up our planet is, and I hate it. Climate change is causing annual forest fires in California, politicians would rather see their opponents in their...
By Connor Pattinson OK. You guys ready? Let’s do this. To set the scene, on Feb. 2, 1877, the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club embarked on their expedition to Phil’s house located at Who-Gives-A-Shit-It’s-A-Groundhog Lane, Gobbler’s Knob, PA 15767. Crowds gather around to watch Punxsutawney Phil emerge from his little hole to...