VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY, COMMONS – Friday night, a group of freshmen walked into their Commons dorm to find the security guard alert and sober. The guard, who was sitting upright and fully awake at his post, was reportedly competent and attentive. A spokesperson for Allied Barton has since commended the heroic...
Dear Dr. Lovehub, I’ve had my fair share of hardship in dealing with women. Let me tell you, sitting on the highest court in the United States for 30 years is no easy task – it’s exhausting. You try taking away voting and reproductive rights while that bitch Ruth Bader...
I recently came across this interesting debate while reading my second favorite Vanderbilt news source, the Hustler. The article (found here), posed an interesting question: Should Confederate statues be demolished with a bulldozer or a wrecking ball? Admittedly, I only had the time to read the title, but I still...
With Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court approved, only two of the nine justices serving on the highest court of the land will have been publicly accused of being predators. Fortunately, with Ginsberg being 85 years old and weighing only 60 pounds, a new seat should be opening up soon....
NASHVILLE, TN: Most freshmen at Vanderbilt are socially well-adjusted individuals who would never even think of eating a meal alone. Not so for Trevor Browne. Slant sources confirmed that this total fucking loser was seen eating lunch alone at the Commons Center dining hall today. Browne reportedly sat down at...