ConcernedAboutCock It’s 7:37 PM on a Saturday night. I have no plans other than walking to the Commons Munchie Mart and buying myself a strawberry banana smoothie that I 140 percent believe has the same ingredients as the ones at McDonald’s. As I embark on my travels, I cast a...
By Fluke Baller The art of the Friendzone is a delicate one. You may find yourself balancing an immense hatred for her boyfriend with all the unrequited pining one can muster, all while keeping your feelings hidden at all costs. It’s a dangerous game. Only the strongest and worthiest among...
By Nick Gebo It’s the beginning of a new semester! Spring is coming and things are looking up. Better yet, a new semester can mean a brand new, reimagined you. It’s the perfect time to evaluate your life, your goals and adjust your path to set yourself up for future...
By Jeff Malarky 10) The Second Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image For starters, holy shit is this hard to understand. Did they not have Grammarly back then? So this one basically forbids making shrines and praying to them. This just feels a bit outdated to...
By Megan McGrath and Vivian Iburg Swine flu, the iconic disease once named for pigs like Vanderbilt Young Republicans, is undergoing a name change following a terrible outbreak at an innocent holiday party. On December 9, 2022, The Slant staff gathered at the residence of Chris Not-Kringle to share good...
