Diagnosed at age 4, my severe latex allergy has affected nearly all aspects of my life. Now, as we near the halfway point of the 2016 UEFA Euro Cup, European national teams and their sexy players fight to continue to the knockout stages of the tournament. But despite my life-threatening...
Its orbit elliptical, Its surface red and bright; The volcano on its surface spews a liquid white – A mountain is falling apart and being made new, on your face. The planet rarely strays from its roots: Deep hairy follicles infected, Oozing with new matter To make this planet,...
I exit my dorm Gasping for fresh air. The hallway is full Of suffocating fumes. Damn coolers.
All of creation From the primordial pool To the dinosaurs To the mammoths To us, Homo sapiens, The intelligent species, Happened by chance, An improbable miracle, Of stars aligning, atoms colliding, Your parents meeting, And making you, Only for you to sit In my fucking seat, Asshole.
Neither my joints nor my bladder function anymore, and my face is more wrinkly than my Very Wrinkly Scrotum. But I have one last wish: You, my children, must join The Slant.
