By Oliver Tuff It was recently announced that Democrat Tom Suozzi has won a special election to become the newest representative for New York. In my opinion, the election should never have happened in the first place (look how they persecuted our icon George Santos). Further still, there were so...
By Ian Iberg and Nathaniel Keaton 5. “…” He was the voice of a generation. The Silent Generation. 4. “…” He said so much with so few words. 3. “???” He conveyed so much meaning in the space between the lines! 2. “…” The Gettysburg Address didn’t even go this...
By Ruhi Patel From Star Wars to Mamma Mia to my childhood in North Texas, the trope of the mysteriously unknown father has always been a hoot. But now, it has expanded to marine life: Charlotte, a stingray in North Carolina, is pregnant, and we don’t know how. Like, don’t...
By Sam Sliman Peke Abu, recipient of the world’s first brain/computer interface, woke up this morning to find his entire body completely gone. After a brief panic, Abu was able to recover his corporeal form by looking down and quickly observing it, but sadly, his wallet, car, and all other...
In a daring twist that can only be described as morbidly inventive, Vanderbilt University has completed construction on its Student Life Center, revealing the highly anticipated counterpart, Student Death Center. The decision, overwhelmingly backed by the Dishonor Council, seeks to redefine the traditional student journey by asserting that college should...
