In his report, Elliott states, “After 80 hours straight of intense scientific study, I have discovered that the clowns are not real clowns; they are actually people that have painted their face and put on a clown costume.”
Slant Staff
Donald Trump Jr. recently made headlines when he used a bowl of Skittles containing a few poisonous Skittles as a metaphor for Syrian refugees coming to America. We at The Slant have composed a list of metaphors he could have possibly used that are slightly more… tasteful.
Frustration ensued because Defensive Coordinator Mason prepared well for the conference showdown, but Head Coach Mason briefly forgot that Offense and Special teams existed.
Hello, child. Yes, I have been waiting in this armchair for you since I noticed you weren’t in bed three hours ago. It is something I must do – a patrol, a ritual – every night; I have done it ever since you came out of my womb. Where have you been?
Students close to William Thompson believe he has developed an erotic attraction to the difficulty of Vanderbilt’s Engineering School.
