By Sam Sliman Peke Abu, recipient of the world’s first brain/computer interface, woke up this morning to find his entire body completely gone. After a brief panic, Abu was able to recover his corporeal form by looking down and quickly observing it, but sadly, his wallet, car, and all other...
By Nick Gebo and Sam Sliman It’s that time of year again. As the season of course evaluations rolls around, we, as seasoned experts in the art of academic critique, have once again been asked by the university to embark on the daunting yet supremely important task of evaluating our...
By Sam Sliman Sponsored by Johnson & Johnson Look I know it sounds bad, but just hear me out. I understand that your terminal disease is easily preventable. Trust me, I get it — I had food poisoning just last semester. But only like 1.5 million people die from vaccine...
By Sam Sliman In an unprecedented move, Walmart has decided to hire sophomore Ty Tass from ATO as a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion consultant. In this role, Tass will be working with Walmart’s most elite executives. Although underqualified Vanderbilt graduates getting paid exorbitant sums of money to consult large corporations...
By Sam Sliman With artificial intelligence pervading our lives more and more by the day, experts have begun to issue dire warnings about the implications these technologies may have on the survival of the human race. Many scientists claim that AI could soon become more powerful than humans and some...
