Freshman Doesn’t Get Lost on First Day of Classes, Becomes Local Hero


NASHVILLE – Jeremy Williams, a Vanderbilt University freshman, has obtained a legendary achievement for the school. Williams, a student whose major is undecided in the College of Arts and Sciences, made it to all of his classes on time on the first day, without getting lost. The Sutherland House resident had a schedule chock full of the usual suspects: Macroeconomics, General Chemistry, Calculus, and U.S. Politics. He started his day with the long, desolate trek down 21st Avenue South, braving the sidewalk traffic and narrowly making it across the street while the walk sign was still lit. He trekked up to Wilson with no other close calls and after class proceeded to Stevenson Center for Gen Chem – the precarious hour when many Vanderbilt freshmen first lose their way. He went in the entrance by the Stevenson library, and after thirty seconds of considering the risks of getting lost, he made a bold move: he asked a senior for directions. Luckily, this particular senior was hungover, according to sources close to the girl, after a long day of pontooning. She gave Williams directions to the Gen Chem room in the hopes that he would stop talking so loudly. Jeremy made it to Professor Todd’s class right on time. He continued his day, careful to keep the Vanderbilt app up on his phone in case he became turned around. Williams, according to some, doesn’t actually know how to use a map, so it was good fortune that he never ended up needing it.

    Williams has been hailed as a hero by his fellow Commons residents, with one RA saying, “I’m a Blair student. I don’t think I’ve ever not been lost on main campus!” His fellow freshmen look to him for guidance, and some experts speculate he will be Sutherland House President once elections take place. It is expected that the University will erect a statue in his honor outside of Stevenson in the coming months, and by some accounts, now-underground, fraternity Beta Theta Pi has already offered him a bid. Williams told The Slant that he hopes his success will “Inspire future generations to dream big. Anything can happen, you know.”

  • September 12, 2016