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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Katie Means

New Study Finds Employees Tired of Wiping Their Asses with Sandpaper

February 12, 2019 by Katie Means

Google has paved the way in employee perks, prioritizing fun work environments that help employees succeed, complete with free food, cooking classes, nap pods, and laundry service. Companies like Yahoo, Buzzfeed, and Deloitte have quickly followed suit, whether that means offering free coffee, paid maternity and paternity leave, or just spaces where employees can decompress … [Read more...] about New Study Finds Employees Tired of Wiping Their Asses with Sandpaper

Excellence in Action: Vanderbilt’s Sorority Recruitment Process

February 4, 2019 by Katie Means

As the great Philadelphia 76ers like to say, “Trust the process.” The phrase, oft heard during Vanderbilt’s sorority recruitment process, is a completely valid expression of confidence in what is largely hailed as a perfect system. Let’s go through the facts. First-year women and their sorority counterparts are allowed to get to know each other in a very normal, natural … [Read more...] about Excellence in Action: Vanderbilt’s Sorority Recruitment Process

Bid Day Blow: Sorority Girls Not Excited, Just Coked Up

January 17, 2019 by Katie Means

This Sunday was Vanderbilt’s sorority Bid Day – the day where new sorority women are finally admitted to their forever homes and bused to a party to welcome them home. As always, women are dressed to the nines for their Bid Day theme as they yell and scream when their newest sisters descend from the bus and into their arms. This year’s theme for SRAT was snow, and the sisters … [Read more...] about Bid Day Blow: Sorority Girls Not Excited, Just Coked Up

Five St. Fratty’s Day Outfits That Scream “Take Me to Formal”

March 16, 2018 by Katie Means

Whether you’re Irish or not, these St. Fratty’s Day outfits are the best way to say “Please take me to formal” without you having to write it on your forehead. May the odds be ever in your favor! The Preppy Green Minnie MouseThis outfit does all of the work for you - the preppy mini-skirt tells the world “I went to Catholic School, I’m a good girl,” while the … [Read more...] about Five St. Fratty’s Day Outfits That Scream “Take Me to Formal”

Second Semester Horoscopes

February 15, 2018 by Katie Means

Welcome, children of the universe! We’ve done some careful observation of the stars and determined the forecast for your spring semester.Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)Uranus is moving from Aries into Taurus, which means a time of great changes is approaching. Definitely buy more underwear.Pisces (February 19 to March 20)Neptune, your planet, remains in Pisces – … [Read more...] about Second Semester Horoscopes

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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