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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for April 2022

Separating the Art from the Artist: Why It’s Ok to Keep Hooking Up with That Guy Who Is an Asshole to You

April 28, 2022 by Slant Staff

By: Slant Staff Don’t lie to me. You still listen to Michael Jackson and XXXTentacion. You still appreciate Picasso. You keep rewatching Pulp Fiction every time you get sad and just want to feel something again (you realize Harvey Weinstein directed that, right?). I’m just being honest about it. Great philosophers throughout the ages have said there's value in separating the … [Read more...] about Separating the Art from the Artist: Why It’s Ok to Keep Hooking Up with That Guy Who Is an Asshole to You

Concerned Mother Shames “Euphoria” for Setting Unrealistic Standards for Young, Impressionable Minds

April 20, 2022 by Justine Del Monte

By: Justine Del Monte Hit show Euphoria’s second season has left parents and activists alike in shock over its inaccurate and harmful portrayal of adolescence.  The series focuses on antagonist Rue (Zendaya), a teenage drug user who is fresh out of rehab and ready to take on the world as a recovering addict. With the love and support of her newfound friend-turned-lover … [Read more...] about Concerned Mother Shames “Euphoria” for Setting Unrealistic Standards for Young, Impressionable Minds

Why You Didn’t Need a Res College Single Anyway

April 13, 2022 by Slant Staff

By: Slant Staff So, just like me, you applied to the singles housing process. If you were part of the sliver of lucky bastards who got a res college single, don’t let it get to your head. Diermeier still isn’t going to invite you to his circle jerks, champ. If you didn’t get a res college single, my sincerest apologies. I can only imagine the hell you will face in the fiery … [Read more...] about Why You Didn’t Need a Res College Single Anyway

Hooking Up For Housing: Why I Won’t Be Sleeping With Anyone Who Doesn’t Live In A Res College

April 12, 2022 by Slant Staff

By: Slant Staff Vanderbilt has no housing. Rather than solving the problem in a rational matter, like say allowing us to live off-campus, OHARE has asked students to beg for housing (or simply bribe their way into a six-person suite). I, however, am a woman of principle. I refuse to get on my knees for The Man. My solution? To get on my knees for just some man.  In … [Read more...] about Hooking Up For Housing: Why I Won’t Be Sleeping With Anyone Who Doesn’t Live In A Res College

92 Reasons to Avoid the Over-Sequined, Yuppy-Fueled Coachella Fever Dream

April 5, 2022 by Kyle Kowalski: Content Editor

By: Kyle Kowalski I don’t have high expectations for the month of April. It means final exams, confusing weather, and waiting yet another month for my parents to finally let me play in the backyard and drink from the watering hose. Do they expect me to live on my own to pay LA rent just for the privilege of playing raccoons in my own damn grass? The only refuge I have is … [Read more...] about 92 Reasons to Avoid the Over-Sequined, Yuppy-Fueled Coachella Fever Dream

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  • Separating the Art from the Artist: Why It’s Ok to Keep Hooking Up with That Guy Who Is an Asshole to You

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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