Hey @jack. When you’re done microdosing ecstasy at your weird Silicon Valley sex parties, we’re gonna need you here. Our chancellor and known cheap sunglasses wearer Nick Zeppos is currently unverified on Twitter and that is not OK. Zeppos is a fucking influencer. You ever hear of the Zeppos Lifestyle?...

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  • February 4, 2019

Yesterday was this year’s Season Finale of the NFL, but honestly, there are so many other bowls that deserve recognition. Here’s 10 of them: Justin Bieber’s 2010 Bowl Cut.  Remember when you went up to Chad in 6th grade and told his pimple-free skin that he looked like The Biebs?...

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  • February 4, 2019

As the great Philadelphia 76ers like to say, “Trust the process.” The phrase, oft heard during Vanderbilt’s sorority recruitment process, is a completely valid expression of confidence in what is largely hailed as a perfect system. Let’s go through the facts. First-year women and their sorority counterparts are allowed to...

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  • February 4, 2019

The first semester of the 2018-2019 school year ended about four weeks ago. That means your horoscope can actually be somewhat accurate now! Aquarius – The stars aligned last semester so that every Bird you rented caused one child in Africa to die. You already knew that, though, didn’t you?...

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  • February 4, 2019