The Vanderbilt Biological Sciences Department recently announced that one of their students, junior Gimli Turner, has cured cancer. Doctors around the world are applauding Turner’s tireless efforts toward curing this enigmatic, tenacious disease—a true medical miracle. His roommate, Dory Wimmer Jr., says the idea simply happened upon Turner one night...

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  • November 8, 2022

It’s midterm season! And not the boring academic dishonesty kind, but rather the political kind! While this can be a very tense and stressful period, it really doesn’t have to be—you just need to know how to do your part. In this election cycle, you should be able to sell...

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  • November 7, 2022

Sorry I’ve been missing for so long. My Snapchat is a ghost town. My Facebook, empty. I even have yet to post a Receiptify of my mediocre song selections. All because there’s no damn cell reception in this brick-laid mausoleum. I’ve made 540 attempts to crack the wifi passcode. There...

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  • November 5, 2022