8 Vanderbilt students were admitted into Vanderbilt University Medical Center on Sunday, October 2nd suffering from fever, red eyes, and joint pain. They were ultimately diagnosed with Zika after having all eaten chicken burrito bowls from Chipotle.
In his report, Elliott states, “After 80 hours straight of intense scientific study, I have discovered that the clowns are not real clowns; they are actually people that have painted their face and put on a clown costume.”
Donald Trump Jr. recently made headlines when he used a bowl of Skittles containing a few poisonous Skittles as a metaphor for Syrian refugees coming to America. We at The Slant have composed a list of metaphors he could have possibly used that are slightly more… tasteful.
The politician notorious for her secrecy initially claimed to be healthy, but following another leak of her emails it came to light that she was trying to be SICK!
Frustration ensued because Defensive Coordinator Mason prepared well for the conference showdown, but Head Coach Mason briefly forgot that Offense and Special teams existed.
