For years the FDA has advised caution towards trick-or-treaters due to the possibility of razor blades hidden in unwrapped candy; however, this year they shockingly released the stipulation that one in every five pieces of halloween candy will indeed be a loaded gun. Upon releasing this announcement, parents across the...
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I know this article is very niche and won’t pertain to many of you, but I am going to talk to a very small, underrepresented demographic on campus: the New York based Vanderbilt students. These are tough times we’re living in. The Red Sox won the World Series, the city...
VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY, COMMONS – Friday night, a group of freshmen walked into their Commons dorm to find the security guard alert and sober. The guard, who was sitting upright and fully awake at his post, was reportedly competent and attentive. A spokesperson for Allied Barton has since commended the heroic...
Chancellor Nicholas Zeppos has announced an ambitious initiative to pop the colossal bubble surrounding campus with a 95-meter long needle. The needle will be 3D printed in the Wond’ry over the course of two months and eventually attached to a tower crane. Dubbed the “Vanderbubble,” the giant globule has famously...
Welp. They’ve gone and done it again. Just when I thought that I’d be able to finally use one of my three sides on a hearty helping of human flesh, Vanderbilt snatches that dream out of my hands much like I snatch babies from their mothers and eat them. All-you-can-eat...