By Turd Ferguson On Monday afternoon, the Dean of the Commons released a memo concerning a new facet of the “virtual roommate” program. In addition to VUcept and regular virtual roommate meetings, Vanderbilt freshmen will now have access to a new Zoom feature – a button on the taskbar that...
By Hewlett Packin It’s 4PM on a Monday afternoon and you just woke up from your second depression nap of the day, coming fresh out of a nightmare of Daniel Diermeier watching you spit into a bottomless plastic tube. After adjusting back into the warm, comforting smell of piss in...
By John Dough The way you wear those pant suits. Your fresh, fashionable haircut. The way you command congress floor like a well-spoken, sexy diablo from the 8th district of California—God, how I wish I was the 8th district of California so you could rule benevolently over me and pass...
After watching the trash presidential debate hosted by The #fakenews Hustler, The Slant decided out of concern for the Vanderbilt community to ask the hard hitting questions that students want to know. Below you’ll find a full portrait of candidates you didn’t even know existed until they requested to follow...
By Anonymous Dear valued Greens* customer, Having noted your regular presence at our cafe, we write to you to address some behaviors we find concerning. On Monday, January 22nd, you entered our establishment at 8:56 pm. Although both our front and kitchen staff were clearly in the process of trying...
