By Turd Ferguson PORT SAID, EGYPT – On March 23rd, the Ever Given ran aground in the Suez Canal, completely blocking one of the world’s most vital trade routes and setting back some supply chains as much as nine months. Critics have placed blame on officials in both the International...
Dear Big Pharma, Thank you for changing my birth control for the fifth time these past eleven months! I’m so happy to have you change the mix of hormones you’re pumping into my body every month or two. The physical and emotional effects of you messing around really keep me...
Everyone has their weird shit that they like. Unfortunately for me, a big part of my sexual awakening came from thinking that Jesse from Pitch Perfect was the hottest man on this planet, meaning that my weird kink is a cappella. Could it have just been something kind of normal?...
By Turd Ferguson Just weeks after performing the world’s first dual heart-lung transplant on a patient with COVID-19, the Vanderbilt University Medical Center continues to break new ground in the surgical field. In a press conference, VUMC announced that it had successfully performed the world’s first really, really fat ass...
By Stella Virgin Let’s get something straight. I think it’s pretty fucking unfair that society has decided to only give us one virginity. I mean, really, one? The vast majority of the 18+ population could definitely use a set-in-stone virginity reset day to replenish our mental and emotional well-being. After...
