Vanderbilt Unveils Parking Mediation Program On Campus
By Stephanie Hicks
The student driver knows Vanderbilt Parking all too well. If you don’t get to campus between the hours of 8 – 8:15 a.m., there is simply no student parking. Unless you take a chance on employee parking or use Vandy’s pay spaces for the duration of your class, there’s just nowhere to go.
“I mean, I guess I could just walk,” said a resident of the Villages at Vanderbilt. “But I just really don’t want to.”
Vanderbilt offers bike racks outside every campus building where students can lock up their bikes or electric scooters during their classes — but nobody likes a sidewalk biker or being run over by an electric scooter user while walking towards the depths of Commons for your 9 a.m. class.
“The real solution is to just drive. My parents already paid for my parking pass, so I might as well rack up the parking tickets while I’m at it,” said the Village resident.
There are a myriad of ways to get a parking ticket on campus, each one with its own pretty $50 fine. Parking in the wrong lot, parking for too long in the lot that your hallmate swears they don’t patrol on the weekends and even reverse parking into parking spots will earn you a cute little yellow ticket. If you’re super lucky, sometimes a mix of all three! (I’m not speaking from experience. I was even in the lines last time!)
Thankfully, student drivers no longer have to suffer in silence. In response to student frustrations regarding parking, Vanderbilt University Parking Services reveals a brand new program, Parking Mediation, where students can hash out their parking issues with a designated Vandy Parking Mediator. You’re already late to class from circling the 25th Avenue Garage for 10 minutes, so you might as well head over to the parking services building for some peace of mind.
“The consultation fee for the mediator, as well as their salary, is paid for solely by parking pass revenue,” says the inventor of the new parking program, John E. Parksbad. Students receive 15 minutes to argue with Parking Personnel before they return back to the garages and lots to pray for someone to leave.
The Parking Office runs walk-in mediations from 9 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. every weekday, and times past noon are by appointment only. According to the brochure, appointments can only be made through the Vandy Parking Hotline.
In desperate cases, like unannounced lot closures or fucking game day, students can call the Vandy Parking Hotline, (615) 240 – PARK, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (including Labor Day.)
“The phone sits in a dark room with sound-proof walls. We only go in there when the voicemail is full, like, every two days to clear the inbox. We collectively stay away from it otherwise,” said Parksbad