How to Network With 19-Year-Olds to Join Their Special Club
By Nick Gebo
It’s the beginning of a new semester! Spring is coming and things are looking up. Better yet, a new semester can mean a brand new, reimagined you. It’s the perfect time to evaluate your life, your goals and adjust your path to set yourself up for future success. And there’s no better way to do so than to join a flashy pre-professional fraternity to make new friends and prepare yourself for the next 50 years of your life.
Now before you get too excited, remember, they only want freshmen and sophomores, so you only get a few shots to apply. You better not mess it up or you will be dooming your future self. A successful bid will have you feeling on top of the world, finally comfortable with your self worth for at least a week. A rejection, however, could start a spiral that spells disaster.
But guess what—if you’re reading this, you are in luck. We’ve taken the time to consult with a wide range of experts who graciously agreed to provide you, the reader, with the tips and tricks that will guarantee you are accepted into one of these exclusive clubs. With that in mind, here are a few vital Dos and Don’ts of the recruiting process.
Do reach out for dozens of coffee chats. Remember, these students are professionals. Get to know them. They talk the talk because they’ve walked the walk. It is simply a reality that they are better than the average student in most ways, and that you have a lot to learn from them. They know what they want in life, and they know how to get it, but they are also very generous and want to give back by maybe letting somebody like you into their club. Understand what makes them successful. Try to emulate a fraction of it. Their time is exceptionally valuable, so bring a gift—perhaps a treasured family heirloom, or, if it feels right, promise your first-born son. Just don’t take their graciousness for granted!
Don’t forget to update your resume. The people reading your resume are well versed in a wide range of fields making them very qualified to accurately analyze your accomplishments described in four lines. They will take the time to look it over closely, so make sure you include all the impactful charity work you did overseas. And don’t lie or embellish because you will be caught. Also, because these orgs are deeply meritocratic, they require you to anonymize everything. You aren’t getting in based on who mommy or daddy are—identifying information like a high school name can’t be on there. It’s not like your candidacy should be considered differently depending on if you went to Exeter or Bumfuck Nowhere Public School.
Do remember that their decision will affect the rest of your life. If accepted, your network will grow so quickly you will be a millionaire by twenty-five. If rejected, it’s unlikely you’ll ever make enough to support a family. Not only should you go to every rush event, you should be scheduling some of your own. Talk to brothers, but also their parents, roommates and high school social studies teachers. Drop everything on your schedule because for these two weeks, you are doing business, and doing it well.
Lastly, Don’t forget to stay true to yourself. It’s not all suits and ties—these orgs are also interested in you as a person with interesting passions. Have hundreds of thousands of listeners on Spotify? Decided to start a six-figure profiting business in high school? Include that in your application! If you are a published author or starred in a critically acclaimed Disney TV series, that counts for something too. You can get in for a variety of reasons, you just have to find your niche.
With these tips in mind, you will be well on your way to finally making something of yourself. Oh, and one last thing—keep in mind that a business fraternity bid is transferable for a Slant bid. Present us this article with your bid and you are in.