I know this article is very niche and won’t pertain to many of you, but I am going to talk to a very small, underrepresented demographic on campus: the New York based Vanderbilt students. These are tough times we’re living in. The Red Sox won the World Series, the city of Boston is having another parade, and I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. On the other hand, … [Read more...] about How A Vandy Student/Yankee Fan Should Cope With David Price Winning the World Series
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Commons Security Guard Found Alert and Sober
Above: An Allied Barton security guard hard at work VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY, COMMONS - Friday night, a group of freshmen walked into their Commons dorm to find the security guard alert and sober. The guard, who was sitting upright and fully awake at his post, was reportedly competent and attentive. A spokesperson for Allied Barton has since commended the heroic work of this … [Read more...] about Commons Security Guard Found Alert and Sober
Chancellor announces plan to pop “Vanderbubble” with gigantic needle
Vanderbilt students have been trapped inside the VanderBubble since 2000 Chancellor Nicholas Zeppos has announced an ambitious initiative to pop the colossal bubble surrounding campus with a 95-meter long needle. The needle will be 3D printed in the Wond’ry over the course of two months and eventually attached to a tower crane. Dubbed the “Vanderbubble,” the giant … [Read more...] about Chancellor announces plan to pop “Vanderbubble” with gigantic needle
EBI claims it’s all-you-care-to-eat. But what if all I care to eat is human flesh?
E. Bronson Ingram (Photo by Claire Barnett) Welp. They’ve gone and done it again. Just when I thought that I’d be able to finally use one of my three sides on a hearty helping of human flesh, Vanderbilt snatches that dream out of my hands much like I snatch babies from their mothers and eat them. All-you-can-eat is one thing, and I’ll certainly go to a restaurant just to … [Read more...] about EBI claims it’s all-you-care-to-eat. But what if all I care to eat is human flesh?
Vanderbilt Establishes Happiness Police Force After Alarming Drop in University’s Happiness Ranking
According to a press release by university administration, Vanderbilt will establish a new full-time Happiness Police Force in the wake of concerns over the university’s dramatic fall from #1 to #3 on the Princeton Review’s Happiest Students ranking. In an effort to make students happy again, the new professional police force will patrol campus and be stationed inside … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Establishes Happiness Police Force After Alarming Drop in University’s Happiness Ranking