Diagnosed at age 4, my severe latex allergy has affected nearly all aspects of my life. Now, as we near the halfway point of the 2016 UEFA Euro Cup, European national teams and their sexy players fight to continue to the knockout stages of the tournament. But despite my life-threatening allergies, I’m willing to sacrifice my physical well-being if it means getting a chance to … [Read more...] about 8 Euro 2016 Players Hot Enough That I Would Use Latex Condoms During Sex With Them, Despite My Severe Allergy
Archives for July 5, 2016
A New Planet
Its orbit elliptical, Its surface red and bright; The volcano on its surface spews a liquid white - A mountain is falling apart and being made new, on your face. The planet rarely strays from its roots: Deep hairy follicles infected, Oozing with new matter To make this planet, on your face. Perhaps one day human society Will … [Read more...] about A New Planet
Fumes
I exit my dormGasping for fresh air.The hallway is full Of suffocating fumes. Damn coolers. … [Read more...] about Fumes
Fate
All of creationFrom the primordial poolTo the dinosaurs To the mammoths To us, Homo sapiens, The intelligent species,Happened by chance,An improbable miracle,Of stars aligning, atoms colliding,Your parents meeting,And making you,Only for you to sitIn my fucking seat,Asshole. … [Read more...] about Fate
Join the Slant: Sophie To
I am old and feeble. Life is rapidly oozing out of me (the oozing is inconvenient because it causes me to use many tissues). Neither my joints nor my bladder function anymore, and my face is more wrinkly than my Very Wrinkly Scrotum. But I have one last wish: You, my children, must join The Slant.I started writing for The Slant in August 2012. You were not born yet. I was … [Read more...] about Join the Slant: Sophie To