By John Dough The way you wear those pant suits. Your fresh, fashionable haircut. The way you command congress floor like a well-spoken, sexy diablo from the 8th district of California—God, how I wish I was the 8th district of California so you could rule benevolently over me and pass...
Recent studies from the CDC demonstrate that universities, on average, have seen a 96 percent drop in COVID cases after placing stickers in front of doors featuring instructions such as “Exit Only,” “Stand Here,” or “Do Not Step Foot Inside This Building Without a Mask or You Will Get Sniped.” ...
By now, we’ve all heard that we’ll be returning to campus this fall, but with social distancing restrictions out the wazoo. Perhaps you lost your shit when you learned that you’ll have to schedule your meals a day in advance with only a 15-minute timeframe to pick up dinner, or...
The recent release of Vanderbilt’s student refunds left many students confused as to how Vanderbilt calculated the payment. With the majority of students no longer on campus, questions remain as to where the administration’s surplus funds went. A recent Hustler “article” highlighted the discrepancy between the refunds Vanderbilt offered and...
First of all, I need to apologize. Neither of us thought we’d be in this position—but alas, here we are. Here I sit, at home in my queen-size bed with freshly cleaned sheets (thanks mom. God knows the last time I washed my sheets at school), while you’re about to...
