Welp, somebody fucked up and now all of my friends are in quarantine, which I guess means that for the time being I have to find a way to not be lonely. Thank god some bees just moved into my room. I’ll admit that at first I wasn’t thrilled with...
Vanderbilt University’s research labs have discovered a vaccine for the novel coronavirus strand, potentially signaling the end of the pandemic in America. News media began singing Vanderbilt’s praise and bipartisan support rose, with Mitch McConnell close to passing a “Let’s Not be so Awful Because of Vanderbilt” bill through Congress....
By John Dough The way you wear those pant suits. Your fresh, fashionable haircut. The way you command congress floor like a well-spoken, sexy diablo from the 8th district of California—God, how I wish I was the 8th district of California so you could rule benevolently over me and pass...
Recent studies from the CDC demonstrate that universities, on average, have seen a 96 percent drop in COVID cases after placing stickers in front of doors featuring instructions such as “Exit Only,” “Stand Here,” or “Do Not Step Foot Inside This Building Without a Mask or You Will Get Sniped.” ...
By now, we’ve all heard that we’ll be returning to campus this fall, but with social distancing restrictions out the wazoo. Perhaps you lost your shit when you learned that you’ll have to schedule your meals a day in advance with only a 15-minute timeframe to pick up dinner, or...
