Feeling an ever pervading sense of soul-crushing ennui? Afraid? Like a ship with no rudder? Imposter syndrome like a panicked freshman girl pretending to like bud light at the first tailgate she goes to? Well, do I have news for you. If complete dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, and defecation don’t work...
Happy October! The first few days of this fun, funky, flirty, fresh month can signify the start of many things for the average Vanderbilt student—the blooming of colors of the campus trees, pumpkin-spiced everything, the repeated use of yesterday’s hoodie, the opening of the floodgates of the Dance Marathon promotional...
In a ground-breaking study from the VU Department of Zeppos Father Figures Studies, researchers have discovered a nearly perfect 1:1 correlation between people who think Vandy Dining is personally victimizing them and people whose dads were stingy with their love. This research sent shockwaves through much of the Vanderbilt student...
Sure, I’ve survived the Commons cold. My body has even braved the drippy, hot, Rand tenders that run through your intestines like a bat out of hell. Yet all throughout Nashville, what poses the greatest threat to my health are these cursed thrift stores. Every weekend, I think that the...
NASHVILLE, TN: Reporting from the Commons, sources close to your roommate confirmed that he’s in a play or some shit this Friday night. “We’re not entirely sure what exactly is going on Friday night, but it seems like this guy’s been going to rehearsals or something for weeks now,” an...
