Vanderbilt’s annual “Lights on the Lawn” event has been canceled this year after mass protests around its headliner, Gryffin. The problem students had with him? His very humanity, the mortal coil that he will only shed on his last day. For months, tickets to the event have been selling like...
From: Donald J. Trump Subject: I want to do something extra special on January 6th this year… Date: September 18, 2024 3:14 AM A MEMO FROM RIGHTFUL PRESIDENT TRUMP Patriot, FEAR NOT! After yet ANOTHER attempt on my life, I will be fighting even stronger! I AM VERY PROUD TO...
By Ruhi Slatel Cleopatra’s tomb was finally found in the Branscomb Quadrangle basement after being missing for nearly two millennia. In classic Branscomb fashion, the entire tomb was hidden away behind a comically large stack of empty Twisted Tea cans, all held together by the hard work of a very...
By Geoffrey O. ParsonsPublished August 1st, 2025 Welcome Class of 2029 and Upperclassmen! Here at Vanderbilt’s Offices of Undergraduate Education and Admissions, we are thrilled to re-open our doors to Vanderbilt’s brilliant, creative minds. This semester, we will be watching our most innovative and talented young adults yet take on...
By Sam Belcher Much like Christmas, gender reveal parties and the state of Florida, 9/11 is the latest victim of rampant consumerism. As such, the federal government has embarked on an ambitious plan to roll out a new line of T-shirts, assault rifles and collectors coins in order to commemorate...
