By Lucy Ferguson These days, it feels like there’s a lot of pressure on college students to use these four years to find their purpose. When the people around you can barely figure out how to measure laundry soap without overflowing the machine, such a lofty, magnanimous goal seems near...
By Nathaniel Geriatric-Man Moses at Mount Sinai, Muhammad in the cave and now McConnell at the Capitol. On Monday, July 26 during a news conference at the Capitol, Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell’s gaze drifted past the room full of reporters and towards something beyond. And miraculously, on Wednesday, Aug. 30...
By Sam Sliman In an unprecedented move, Walmart has decided to hire sophomore Ty Tass from ATO as a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion consultant. In this role, Tass will be working with Walmart’s most elite executives. Although underqualified Vanderbilt graduates getting paid exorbitant sums of money to consult large corporations...
By Chris Conway Alright everyone, it’s time to buckle up your goddamn seatbelts because I am about to tell you that everything you have known and learned is at least partially false. I’m Chris. I have lived since the beginning of time and in the course of my life, I...
By Edgar Allan Poe The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged;...
