Excited to Announce: My Summer as a Remote Strategic Growth Synergy Pipeline Optimization Consulting Intern at Ascendancy Global Solutions Inc.™
By: Paige Harris
After a semester full of late nights, early mornings, 47 rejection emails, and one particularly scarring group interview where I was told I had “the energy of someone who would overcook salmon,” I am thrilled, humbled, and blessed to announce that I’ll be joining Ascendancy Global Solutions Inc.™ as a 💻 Remote Strategic Growth Synergy Pipeline Optimization Consulting Intern (With Full Commission-Based Leadership Pathway Potential) 💼 this summer!
I never imagined that a cold DM on Instagram from a guy named Tyce Maverick (VP of Ambition at Ascendancy and self-described “Crypto-Lifestyle Coach”) would change my life. One moment I was doom-scrolling during ECON 1510, and the next I was on a Zoom call with Chief Visionary Alignment Director, Braxton Steel, who told me he “saw a sparkle in my aura” and that I “radiated pre-entrepreneurial energy.”
I knew this was the opportunity I’d been manifesting since I first read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and took a personality quiz that told me I was a natural-born disruptor.
🧠 What is Ascendancy Global Solutions Inc.™?
At Ascendancy, we don’t believe in “corporate hierarchy” or “tax documents.” We believe in empowerment through elevation.
Our mission is simple yet legally non-binding:
“To synergize individualized enterprise ecosystems through decentralized capital pathways and lifestyle-forward outreach activations.”
What does that mean? Great question. I’m still figuring that out! But I do know I’ve already been invited to THREE Slack channels called things like “Hustlers Only” and “The Wolf Den 🐺.”
👔 Why I Chose Ascendancy
While my peers were applying to traditional internships with companies like McKinsey, Goldman Sachs, and “places that actually pay you,” I took a leap of faith. I didn’t want to just be a cog in the corporate machine. I wanted to be a self-sustaining profit-generating vortex.
At Ascendancy, there’s no ceiling. There’s no floor either, technically, because we’re all working remotely from our phones, but that’s the beauty of it — boundless potential.
As Director of Intern Enablement, Skylar Legend, said during our onboarding call:
“If you’re not your own boss by August, you simply didn’t want it bad enough.”
📌 What I’ll Be Doing
As a Strategic Growth Synergy Pipeline Optimization Consulting Intern, I’ll be wearing many hats — because none of us can afford real ones yet.
My responsibilities include:
- Hosting virtual “value acceleration sessions” for potential “clients” (friends and family)
- Learning to “activate my social capital funnel” via Facebook groups titled things like “Lions of Hustle”
- Posting Canva quotes like “Some people dream of success… others wake up and tag 4 friends in this post for a free coaching call”
- Selling customizable vitamin gummies that claim to improve productivity, hair growth, and sexual magnetism (🧪 patent pending)
- Recruiting other “high-potential leaders” to join the Ascendancy family, and then empowering them to do the same
It’s consulting. You wouldn’t get it.
💡 Advice to Others Searching for the Right Opportunity
To all the students out there grinding through Handshake, LinkedIn, Indeed, and that one sketchy website that only hosts unpaid internships for “startups with heart”: Don’t. Give. Up. The right opportunity doesn’t always knock. Sometimes it sends you a 4-paragraph Instagram DM that starts with “Hey boss 👋” and ends with “We’re not a pyramid scheme. We’re a triangle of trust.”
If I’ve learned one thing from this journey, it’s this:
🧘♂️ “You miss 100% of the chances you don’t Venmo your mentor $349 for a synergy bootcamp.” – Wayne Gretzky (and also, apparently, Braxton Steel)
🔥 “If your dreams don’t scare your parents, they’re not big enough.” – Skylar Legend, Director of Intern Enablement
🪜 “Every ‘no’ is one step closer to a ‘yes’ that ends in bankruptcy.” – Cash Riptide, Upline Mentor & Passive Income Enthusiast
📲 “Don’t wait for the opportunity. DM it. Cold and uninvited.” – The Wolf Den Slack Channel Manifesto
☁️ “Work 100 hours a week for yourself so you never have to work 40 hours a week for someone else, except your upline, who is technically your boss.” – The Ascendancy Handbook, Chapter 8
So to anyone still “waiting for the right internship to come along,” I challenge you to ask yourself: are you chasing prestige… or passion? Are you looking for a job… or a tribe?
Say yes to the unknown. Say yes to hustle. Say yes to radical financial independence that relies entirely on whether or not your high school friends are bored enough to schedule a “coffee chat.”
🎯 Goals for the Summer
- Become a Sapphire Tier Visionary Associate (STVA)
- Buy a car entirely in Dogecoin
- Help my cousin Tre get off academic probation and into Ascendancy’s fast-track mentorship pod
- Disrupt the traditional 9-to-5 by committing to an unpaid 24/7
- Read The 48 Laws of Power and quote it out of context in every conversation
- Launch my personal brand by adding “✨Empowerment Coach✨” to my Instagram bio
🙌 Gratitude
Huge shoutout to my roommate Kyle for not calling the cops when I hosted a “networking mixer” in our dorm room that was just me, a whiteboard, and 12 freshmen I lured in with free Celsius.
Thank you to my professors for understanding why I haven’t been in class since I “unlocked my alpha hustle frequency.”
And of course, thank you to Braxton, Tyce, Skylar, Cash, and the entire Ascendancy family, for believing in me, investing in my potential, and giving me the opportunity to one day own 1/16th of a branded Jeep Cherokee with my name airbrushed on the side.
📢 TLDR: I’m not just interning. I’m ascend-ing.
If you or someone you know is ready to take control of their future, work from anywhere (as long as there’s Wi-Fi and a ring light), and grind until their friends block them, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d love to schedule a quick 15-minute exploratory synergy call to see if you’re a fit for the team.
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