The recent campus eviction has left many Vanderbilt students confused. However, the administration is now “asking” students to return to Vanderbilt, as the coronavirus is feeling rather lonely on campus. Its only friends remain at the Wesley apartments where it resides often. Mr. COVID-19 described his March visit as friendly...
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By A Student Who Fears Not Getting Good Housing for Publishing This Along with the announcement regarding the new name for Residential College A, Vanderbilt University has announced that future residential colleges will be constructed without functioning HVAC systems. “We’re excited for this change,” said an administrator in the FutureVU...
According to anxious watchers, freshman Jane Smith has been typing away on her phone in Sutherland House’s fifth floor common room for six hours and counting. When asked about how long she thought the phone break would last, she replied that she “probably wouldn’t take that long.” “Yeah, all I...
While campus assaults are now as common as squirrels and bad grades, I’m starting to wonder if VUPD actually exists. VUPD is the second largest police force in Tennessee– there are probably more Vandy police officers than there are people passed out near Rahna’s on a Thursday night– but after...
The start of fall break: a glorious time when everyone says “I’m going to get so ahead on all my work!” and then ends up watching a vegan chili recipe video on repeat for 13 straight hours – they’re mesmerizing, trust me. Many Vanderbilt students went home during break, but...
