By Sammie Roe Hey babie girl, It’s Sammie! Your bestie festie roomie. I just wanted to let you know why I left your party early. I had an essay due that night at 11:59 PM and I completely forgot about it until we were taking shots of Jack Daniels, and...
If they were a true friend they would understand that when you make a commitment, you stand by it. Yeah sure, the shirt started as a satiric play on the frat guys who wear it seriously even though they have most certainly never seen a breast in their life. But...
I was going to write a fun little article about how to give imposter syndrome to someone, probably that annoying frat boy who thinks he’s God’s gift to Earth in your philosophy class, but I realized I have bigger issues. Or, smaller issues. Lice. Head lice, to be precise. Not...
Don’t lie to me. You still listen to Michael Jackson and XXXTentacion. You still appreciate Picasso. You keep rewatching Pulp Fiction every time you get sad and just want to feel something again (you realize Harvey Weinstein directed that, right?). I’m just being honest about it. Great philosophers throughout the...
By: Slant Staff So, just like me, you applied to the singles housing process. If you were part of the sliver of lucky bastards who got a res college single, don’t let it get to your head. Diermeier still isn’t going to invite you to his circle jerks, champ. If...
