Vanderbilt’s Rise in Rankings Directly Attributed to Student-Led Meme Page

Recently, Vanderbilt rose from a top 15 ranking in national universities to an astronomically more impressive 14th, and students and alumni alike are eating it up.

Boris Webb from the U.S. News & World Report team offered us some insight into their ultimate decision:

“We had several reasons to bump Vandy up a spot this year, including the highly anticipated– and currently underway– construction of the E. Bronson Ingram College Halls and a record high average SAT score among the freshman class, but what really WOWed us the most was the sheer brilliance behind the Facebook group, ‘Dank New Rand Memes.’”

“It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen,” a senior staff member from U.S. News remarked.

The meme page, which stands at 7,000 members and counting, has garnered widespread campus support and has even received an additional $3,000,000 in funding from the university’s annual budget for the humanities and creative arts.

“It’s precisely the kind of creative ingenuity our team looks for when we compile these rankings,” commented Webb.

The University of Notre Dame, previously tied with Vanderbilt, plummeted to no. 18 following U.S. News’ inspection of their meme craftsmanship (or lack thereof).

Notre Dame, incidentally, was ranked among the least dank universities nationwide in their 2018 edition. President Jacobs of Notre Dame released a statement expressing his deep shame in the absence of dank meme-age on his campus, additionally disclosing his efforts to “make Notre Dame dank again.” One can only wonder if he will be successful in his endeavors…

Still, the celebrity of “Dank New Rand Memes” may be short-lived. U.S. News announced an ultimatum for Vandy, issuing that if the page has not become at least two standard deviations danker in the upcoming year, Vanderbilt will lose its top 14 status and, in fact, be named the worst university in the nation.