Because nothing says love like 50,000 volts and severe irritation to the eyes, lungs, and skin.
10. So, are you legal?
9. My name is ___________. Remember that; you’ll be screaming it later.
8. I’m not feeling myself at the moment. Can I feel you?
7. My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?
6. Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.
5. Hey, did you know that “legs” is the word of the day? I’m trying to spread the word.
4. Heard you were looking for a stud. Well I’ve got an STD, all I need is U.
3. Are you Harambe’s pen? Because I want to drop a kid in you.
2. (Lick your finger and wipe it on her shirt.) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.
1. I write for The Slant.
