The deep emotional connection of our committed relationship is making her like, mad horny.

Because nothing says love like 50,000 volts and severe irritation to the eyes, lungs, and skin.

"You were the dude I threw up on at the frat party last weekend. I was the blonde wearing green, and my red Solo cup bounced off your dadbod when I fell off the stage."

Don’t scare me this way, baby. Come back. You complete me. I’m yours, forever. If you leave, I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to.