Vanderbilt Gets Blended


As part of a new initiative for the 2018-2019 school year, Vanderbilt Dining rolled out new meat alternatives (*insert heavy vegan breathing*) in all of its eateries campus-wide. The Blended Burger and the Impossible Burger serve as the poster sandwiches for this initiative, the Hall & Oates of the culinary scene on campus, if you will.

The Blended Burger, consisting of 75% beef and 25% mushrooms, promises to usher in a new era of blended delicacies: Blended Rand Bowls (75% quinoa, 25% skinny girl dreams), Blended Rand Cookies (75% sugar, 25% student consensus-building), Blended Grins Sandwiches (75% tofu, 25% Semitic values), and even Blended Munchie Swipes (75% microwave, 25% I-ate-somewhere-else-but-Daddy-bought-me-a-meal-plan-anyways).

A burgeoning success, the Impossible Burger is entirely meatless but tastes just like a real burger, as well as “bleeds like the real thing.” Much like the Blended Burger, we expect dining to bring on many successors for the Impossible Burger: The Impossible Commons Pizza (“burns just like the real thing!”), The Impossible Burrito (“gives you gas just like the real thing!”), The Impossible Class (“ruins your GPA just like the real thing!”), and even The Impossible Nick Zeppos (“lies just like the real thing!).

With 2019-2020 well on its way, we can only imagine what dining has coming our way. Appetites at the ready, Commodores! We can’t be an Ivy League wannabe if we don’t pretend to start sustainability initiatives (don’t worry, we’re not ACTUALLY composting)!

  • November 2, 2018