Top Ten Things at Munchie Mart That Make Terrible Band Names


1. Meal Plan Side

If you have “Side” in your name, you’re destined to be an opening act.

2. Donettes

This is just the name of a failed backup group for a 60’s Motown artist. There’s a reason that Smokey Robinson went with the Miracles, not the Donettes**.

3. Pasta-roni

Unless you’re trying to break into the Italian music market… I’d go with no.

4. Lift for hot water

Just as Cage the Elephant is known as “Cage,” fans will shorten this name to “Lift.” But at that point, they’d probably just want to call you Uber.

5. Chick-fil-A

C’mon man, don’t be on the wrong side of history. Also, they’ll sue the shit out of you.

6. Minute Maid

This name gives off an aura of apathy. It only took you a minute to make these songs? You can do more. Your tens of fans deserve more.

7. TROJAN™ Pleasure Pack Lubricated Condoms

Obviously this band name is just too long. Although, Pleasure Pack would be a good name for a band. It sounds like the Rat Pack on Viagra. But isn’t that basically just the Rat Pack? I guess so. And that name’s already taken.

8. F’Real Milkshake

Oh, I’m sorry, are you trying to bring all the boys to the yard?

9. Muffin Wrapper

This name is just trash.

10. Hummus & Chips

Actually, this one’s pretty good. One of you is Hummus, one of you is Chips. You’ll be buddies at first. Playing some gigs and having moderate success. But after a while, Hummus is going to go on to have a successful solo career without Chips. But hey, it’s about the journey, not the destination.


Written by Kunal Nabar and Jack Sentell

  • November 2, 2016