10 Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Get You Tased or Maced

Because nothing says love like 50,000 volts and severe irritation to the eyes, lungs, and skin.

10. So, are you legal?

9. My name is ___________. Remember that; you’ll be screaming it later.

8. I’m not feeling myself at the moment. Can I feel you?

7. My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?

6. Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should  take you out.

5. Hey, did you know that “legs” is the word of the day? I’m trying to spread the word.

4. Heard you were looking for a stud. Well I’ve got an STD, all I need is U.

3. Are you Harambe’s pen? Because I want to drop a kid in you.

2. (Lick your finger and wipe it on her shirt.) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.

1. I write for The Slant.