So, recently, if you accepted another desperate request from the @lotlvanderbilt Instagram account, you noticed that Loud Luxury will be making a virtual performance for Lights on the Lawn. For my fellow upperclassmen and 5th years, you might remember last year’s performer: Quinn XCII, the human embodiment of a Kia Soul. But with no 2020 Rites of Spring and Bobby Shmurda’s … [Read more...] about My Top Five Replacement Headliners for Lights on the Lawn
Recently, NASA made the tremendous discovery of water on the moon. Now, this has a lot of implications for science as a whole. Once forgotten dreams of moon popsicles and hot tubs have now become a reality in our intergalactic journey. Many companies are now trying to make their foray into this abundant new resource. Nestle has already militarized their lawyers to have complete … [Read more...] about Water Discovered on the Moon, Seaworld Announces New Initiative: “Abusing Animals but in Space”
The recent release of Vanderbilt’s student refunds left many students confused as to how Vanderbilt calculated the payment. With the majority of students no longer on campus, questions remain as to where the administration’s surplus funds went. A recent Hustler “article” highlighted the discrepancy between the refunds Vanderbilt offered and the “pro ratatat” amount … [Read more...] about Where Did Our Housing Refunds Go?
The recent campus eviction has left many Vanderbilt students confused. However, the administration is now “asking” students to return to Vanderbilt, as the coronavirus is feeling rather lonely on campus. Its only friends remain at the Wesley apartments where it resides often. Mr. COVID-19 described his March visit as friendly and welcoming. “I’ve never felt so included. A … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt to Require Students to Return to Campus because Coronavirus Feels “Lonely”
The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus," according to the benevolent ruler of Greek Life. “This has been a long time coming,” says … [Read more...] about OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity