Kyle Kowalski

Ok, you filthy animals. I see you lining outside Trader Joe’s, feverishly trying to claw your way through the red, automatic doors like it’s the last Happy Honda Days sales event. Your favorite limited-time winter groceries are about to hit the shelves, but in between rabid gulps of peppermint non-dairy...

  • January 13, 2023

Sorry I’ve been missing for so long. My Snapchat is a ghost town. My Facebook, empty. I even have yet to post a Receiptify of my mediocre song selections. All because there’s no damn cell reception in this brick-laid mausoleum. I’ve made 540 attempts to crack the wifi passcode. There...

  • November 5, 2022

Kids these days. They don’t remember the troubling times of the lawless, anarchic 2000s where anything went. Y2K embedded a youthful nonchalance in newly-wed couples to give their children anything plastic into which they could sink their teeth. Asbestos was out, but microplastics were IN. Late-night TV ads offered a...

  • September 26, 2022