The recent campus eviction has left many Vanderbilt students confused. However, the administration is now “asking” students to return to Vanderbilt, as the coronavirus is feeling rather lonely on campus. Its only friends remain at the Wesley apartments where it resides often. Mr. COVID-19 described his March visit as friendly...
Ever since I was little I’ve cared about two things. The first: my loving parents. The second: that rat-fuck who goes by the name Chuck E. Cheese. I remember the moment my life changed forever. I was seven, it was my birthday, and I was spending it at Charles’ humble...
After watching the trash presidential debate hosted by The #fakenews Hustler, The Slant decided out of concern for the Vanderbilt community to ask the hard hitting questions that students want to know. Below you’ll find a full portrait of candidates you didn’t even know existed until they requested to follow...
By Anonymous Dear valued Greens* customer, Having noted your regular presence at our cafe, we write to you to address some behaviors we find concerning. On Monday, January 22nd, you entered our establishment at 8:56 pm. Although both our front and kitchen staff were clearly in the process of trying...
The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus,” according to the...
