By Fluke Baller The art of the Friendzone is a delicate one. You may find yourself balancing an immense hatred for her boyfriend with all the unrequited pining one can muster, all while keeping your feelings hidden at all costs. It’s a dangerous game. Only the strongest and worthiest among...
By Nick Gebo It’s the beginning of a new semester! Spring is coming and things are looking up. Better yet, a new semester can mean a brand new, reimagined you. It’s the perfect time to evaluate your life, your goals and adjust your path to set yourself up for future...
By Jeff Malarky 10) The Second Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image For starters, holy shit is this hard to understand. Did they not have Grammarly back then? So this one basically forbids making shrines and praying to them. This just feels a bit outdated to...
By Megan McGrath and Vivian Iburg Swine flu, the iconic disease once named for pigs like Vanderbilt Young Republicans, is undergoing a name change following a terrible outbreak at an innocent holiday party. On December 9, 2022, The Slant staff gathered at the residence of Chris Not-Kringle to share good...
By Sam Sliman and Fluke Baller Quick! There’s no time to waste! You have to move the conversation to a different topic as quickly as possible. Try mentioning how excited you are for this class, or how nice it was to have some time off. Avoid talking about any aspects...
