The nation’s most salient young voices have taken to the opinion pages of our most precious institutions—online-only college newspapers—to urge us that voting will not make the difference. They are right. The only thing that can save us from the specter of oppression is pumping out as many provocative hot...
Following the success of the groundbreaking novel Kissing the Coronavirus, an erotic tale that personified Covid as a sexy beast of a man, authors worldwide are rushing to jump on a new literary wave. Publishing companies now compare viral fiction to the late 2000s-early 2010s boom in young adult dystopian...
By Turd Ferguson On Monday afternoon, the Dean of the Commons released a memo concerning a new facet of the “virtual roommate” program. In addition to VUcept and regular virtual roommate meetings, Vanderbilt freshmen will now have access to a new Zoom feature – a button on the taskbar that...
By Hewlett Packin It’s 4PM on a Monday afternoon and you just woke up from your second depression nap of the day, coming fresh out of a nightmare of Daniel Diermeier watching you spit into a bottomless plastic tube. After adjusting back into the warm, comforting smell of piss in...
By John Dough The way you wear those pant suits. Your fresh, fashionable haircut. The way you command congress floor like a well-spoken, sexy diablo from the 8th district of California—God, how I wish I was the 8th district of California so you could rule benevolently over me and pass...
